anymore fun?

2010-01-14T00:03:00.001-08:00

everything statement i feel like making now, is stopped by the ability to see the other sides of the statement.

Purpose.

2009-12-13T09:24:00.000-08:00

all its needed. to do anything.

2009-12-07T10:14:00.001-08:00

but i dont want you to feel any hurt or ache. :(

2009-11-18T20:59:00.000-08:00

"This is our decision to live fast and die young."

Living by this statement is cool, cause we get to do whatever we want. For example, i skipped school today because i had a lil too much to drink last night and its still living by that statement. Look, should i have decided to still go to school, its still living fast and dying young. First, i didn't go school, i may miss some impt points for the classes, may end up screwing my results, bleak future, end up dying young. Secondly, if i went ahead and go school in my shagged-ed body, i wont be able to concentrate and end up screwing my body up furthur, living fast and dying young.

cool, yo. me ♥ !

2009-11-17T07:57:00.001-08:00

you brought colours to my life. :D thanks.

2009-11-02T08:05:00.000-08:00

wo ! tonigh is a mind eff night man.. seriously.. been thinking of phrases that doesn't seem to make sense yet makes all the sense in the world. example : healthy dissatisfaction. positive-negative remark.

below will be a list of such remarks that me and dot thought of all night. wo~

- credible doubts
- doubtful credibility
- constructive tools of destruction
- sincere hypocrite
- hypocritical sincerity
- uncomfortably comfortable
- comfortably uncomfortable
- happily sad
- sadly happy
- ordered chaos
- chaotic order
- organized mess
- warring state of peace
- controlled rampage
- reminiscing visions

i think still got a few.. but i cant recall anymore.. wa.. brain cannot take it liao. gonna puke soon. still feeling nauseous for the whole day.. bth liao.. go bathe then sleep le. wan ans.

2009-10-31T16:41:00.000-07:00

wooooooo ! just got home from halloween celebration at my new workplace. villa bali. :D currently working as a barman there. :D

it was a fucking creepy start.. with rain and lightning pouring.. then we had to put on an act for mr potato. one of our management team.. in order to make him leave before we can party at our workplace. :D

shiok siol.. :D all the company.. the booze.. and the ambience.. fucking nice..

started of with our first drink. everyone got the same. parfait amour + smth kuku + cranberry.. tastes mild and sweet fringging enjoyable.. until i finished it and ask for my seconds. dammit.

i frigging told the bar maid : "anything you mix la" and i regretted the moment jessica opened her mouth... fuck sial.. hhaahahahaha. she almost got me drunk...

chivas + absolut 100 + glenfidditch + mcallan 12 + baileys mint abit on the rocks. and i finished it in one mouth full. fucking hot.

the night went well all the way and i survived the ordeal (Y). that explains why im blogging now. :D

although its a halloween party, the lead was maven, my senior barman, cause its his last day. then we took turns to toast him. but of course we drank double of whatever we gave him la.. but it was still fucking fierce. cause 14 people toasting him. imagine that. he drank half of it neat. (Y)

i hereby salute him.

he puked but he's still standing and is probably having breakfast with the rest of the gang right now at some macdonalds'.

(Y)

im almost dead now.. im gonna bathe then go sleep alr.

i've been a good boy. at least i da bao breakfast for my mom. although i didn't for my sis.. but at least i da bao for my mom. kk.. i better go bathe and sleep before i start typing gibberish..

2009-10-29T05:30:00.000-07:00

29th october 2009 - 2 more days to pay day - rainy, wet day.

Donated my blood for the first time ! 3 more months till i know my blood type (Y)

It feels like nothing after donating blood. but the effects came to me when im on my way home. wo~ suddenly super sleepy.. hahahaha.. just now i got up from my bed after lying down for awhile, i felt light-headed. But all is well. :D

Tonnes of people went to donate blood today siol. i was the 175th to fill up the form. I guess there was about 200++ people today? Pretty fun experience. The nurse was like digging under my skin looking for my vein. Best part is, she went beyond the area she numbed. ): ouchie. she tried like 4 times before finding it. ):

Was planning to go play bball after donating blood. *apparently ignoring the advice of avoiding strenuous activities for 12 hours after donating blood* However, it rained. so we ended up playing contract bridge by the pool. :D pretty shiok lepak session la. :D

Okay de la.. everything's fine. gonna go find some food now. then do my part for IPDN project. :D

2009-10-28T07:05:00.001-07:00

had a nice, yet disturbing dream this morning.

2009-10-21T10:17:00.000-07:00

3rd day of october sem - warm, laid back day

was watching teevee with ma the other day. watched this taiwan show where senior actors/actresses/celebs shares their experiences of failures and successes. then it dawned on me that these people are really cool.

how many a time can you look back at your mistakes and laugh about it.
how many a time can you look back at your saddest moments in life and talk about it.
how many a time can you laugh at how ridiculous you were in the past.
how many a time can you share these moments with others to inspire them.

i was pretty afraid of looking back at not just the distant past. but even recent past as well. for a few weeks. nasty things has happened. i said bad things. i did wrong things. i was afraid of recollecting these memories.

then i watched these people sharing their experiences. things they've been through like how his father is going to die and he was miles away rushing back only to receive a call from his brother halfway that he can take his time already and just be there safe. because his father is already dead. although he didn't laugh about it *well, you shouldn't be..* he was able to share such emotional recollections without shedding a tear.

this got me inspired and thinking that, "well, the past is done and set already. even if we dont look at it, it has happened. if we look at it and feel sad, we cant do anything about it. so why dont we look back and share the stories. if its some dumb moments, we'll all laugh about it. if its sad moments, share it to motivate others and make them feel better. why not?"

feels so much easier now. :D

attended my first IS lesson for the term. met a cool teacher who's very open and different from other lecturers in terms of her choice of words and examples. fuck and sex.

she's using sex as the theme of all her examples and it was pretty interesting ! like.. "dont tell me you want to be a virgin until you've tried sex." which is to say "dont tell me you want to try art until you've tried it" pretty apt eh?

well, she got pretty upset halfway through the lessons because everyone is practically doing what she's showing. contradicting? not really.

you see, the lesson is exploring arts and design. we're suppose to be exploring. not following. but everyone is not TRYING out new ways of doing things but waiting to LEARN new ways of doing things. well, she got pretty upset and subtle-ly flared up at the whole class. but everyone seems to still be doing the same thing. i've tried a different approach though. :D

the theme was wire sculpting your superhero. in layman's terms, it'd be using a wire to create the image of your superhero.

we're given alot of freedom in the class. so much freedom that most of us dont know what to do with it. we're pretty lost. hahahhaa. but well. this has something to do with our upbringing. (N)

we ended the lesson with our sculptures half-done and junnie, kelland and i helped her carry the remaining materials to her car. and what a car she drives. some mercedes SLK 200 kompressor. we were still trying to find her car plate number pretty hard. then when we saw the car we were like wo~

call us SK or whatever. but we havent seen a lecturer that rich. :D well, at least i hadn't. AUNTY ELIZ ! jia you oh ! im waiting to hitch your ride.

2009-10-19T09:16:00.001-07:00

first day of october semester - calm, sunny day

Late for my first lesson as usual, entered the class perspiring like my sweat glands are on sugar rush. Got my name called by my favourite lecturer thrice for nothing in particular. He called me to put down my bag twice and told me to put off my wallet when i was arranging my notes during his lecture. Not a very good thing actually. But i dont really care. :D I'm happy.

Had lunch with ZC, Kelvin and Irfan. Another usual afternoon with casual talks of nothing in particular, nothing that matters anyway. After lunch was my first lesson on FNS. Boy, the whole lesson can be summarised in three words. "fuck chim, bodoh".

Prawning is a fun thing to do. Very good chance to stone like free with the convenient excuse of focusing. (Y). Caught quite a number of prawns in good 3 hours. Fun hours, i'd say. :D

good day with good company and good mood. cant ask for more, yo.

2009-10-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

BOO ! Back to do some typings to kill time. (Y)

Just got back from a trip to genting with binni, fh and f like two days ago. It was pretty good. Though not really so fun that I'll wanna keep ranting on and on about it. However, it was still an unforgettable experience. Well, its my first time going out of singapore after so long. Whatsmore, with friends only.

This trip really got me motivated to go and explore the world, meeting new people and things. My list of places I want to visit just got longer. First, it'll be a cambodia trip next year during my March vacations, subsequently I want to go to places like Sarawak, Tioman and most probably parts of China, haven't spent much thoughts on china yet though.

Been a long time since I'm here ranting, eh? Getting kinnda rusty with my written english. *doesn't sound too good* Maybe I shall come back more often. (Y)

I've gotten a job at VillaBali as a Bar Trainee ! Well, thats like 3 weeks ago. Haha ! Well, work is pretty laid-back but the passion of my seniors towards bartending really got me motivated to learn more about bartending and flairing too ! I'm thinking of mastering some flairing techniques and work on bartending. After i've mastered some of those, I'll travel around the world visiting pubs, meeting new people, exchanging skills and tips. Pretty fun, eh? (Y)

Well, books with tonnes of conspiracy theories are really awesome. I've caught half of "The Da Vinci Code" movie on AXN the other day. It was really thought provoking and I feel that it really challenges the beliefs of christians/catholics. Imagine someone is trying to suggest something else about something you truly believe in. Hmm.

Alrights. I'm too lazy to carry on now. Another time, maybe.

2009-09-04T08:13:00.001-07:00

God doesn't create faulty life. No. Everything created by God is perfect, and so are you. So stop driving yourself mad with endless ways to improve, and just accept the glory of your being as is.

2009-09-02T09:50:00.001-07:00

alot of problems.

why so troublesome.

we all die anyway.

why must we set so much standards

and make these few years so xing ku

just fuck it and move on man.

why must we name everything and make everything so clear?

why must everything be black and white

why cant they all just be gray?

at least it feels easier on the heart.

fuck it man.

just do what you want.

2009-08-29T21:16:00.001-07:00

oh no. bad timing.

i think i know where i should go from here on out now.

:)

issue resolved.

2009-08-27T09:37:00.001-07:00

lol.

kns kns kns kns

dont know why but feel like spamming kns.

so, there you go.

kns.

kns mood lehs.

really sibei kns lehs.

ahhhhhhhhhh fuck la.

kns.

2009-08-16T08:45:00.000-07:00

whatever man..

you were the one who wanted the gamble.

i nothing more to say.

i never even agreed to the gamble.

you are playing yourself this time.

how many times i taunted and dared you.

how many times you really did it?

你会说你玩得起，我看是因为你没真正玩过。

you wan do anything is really up to you liao.

i say also wont change anything.

i ka diam lor.

2009-08-10T11:56:00.000-07:00

knowing things makes living tough.

given a choice,

i'll still choose to know more.

at least i feel more secured.

2009-08-10T11:31:00.000-07:00

hais.

should let go le.

but let go le hang on to what?

answer : myself.

2009-08-07T18:16:00.000-07:00

Never be the same again.

2009-08-01T08:41:00.000-07:00

matters of the heart are most difficult.

2009-08-01T02:15:00.001-07:00

so what if i told you everything? so what if you knew what i knew. you wont even bother. you might even find me a nuisance. for adding problems to your's.

2009-07-30T08:06:00.000-07:00

靠人不如靠自己。
大不了自己懒惰就不做咯。

地点是城市某个角落
时间在午夜时刻
无聊的人常在这里出没
交换一种寂寞
我静静坐在你的身后
你似乎只想沉默
我猜我们的爱情已到尽头
无话可说
比争吵更折磨
不如就分手
放我一个人生活
请你双手不要再紧握
一个人我至少干净俐落
沦落就沦落
爱闯祸就闯祸
我也放你一个人生活
你知道就算继续结果还是没结果
又何苦还要继续迁就
我静静坐在你的身后
你似乎只想沉默
我猜我们的爱情已到尽头
无话可说
比争吵更折磨
不如就分手
放我一个人生活
请你双手不要再紧握
一个人我至少干净俐落
沦落就沦落
爱闯祸就闯祸
我也放你一个人生活
你知道就算继续结果还是没结果
就彼此放生留下活口
爱的时候
说过的承诺
爱过以后
就不要强求
从此分手
不必再回头
各自生活
曾经孤单加上孤单是爱火
燃烧过你和我
如今沉默加上沉默更沉默
再没有什么舍不得
放我一个人生活
请你双手不要再紧握
一个人我至少干净俐落
沦落就沦落
爱闯祸就闯祸
我也放你一个人生活
你知道就算继续结果还是没结果
就彼此放生
彼此留下活口

AGAIN .

2009-07-28T09:20:00.001-07:00

you and zz de problems. i analyze everything for you swee swee. although starting i noob noob. but i still did all i can to help you see where you heading. now, you see where im heading. but you telling me clearly. you say until im courting death. yet your actions are showing me that you are letting me go court my own death.

2009-07-28T08:18:00.000-07:00

indifference hurts.

you are a fucking noob.

you misintepretated something that meaningful.

you totally disappointed me.

i got owned.

not the first time.

but the most painful one.

because i trusted.

i believe he will also choose to do something.

because this is something really we have to take actions.

yet you chose to be indifferent.

you even have the cheek to tell me that you choose to be like the others who did nothing.

imagine you are the one.

who got betrayed by people whom you trust fully.

then isolated.

alone in the world facing all the problems.

he said this.

"When you totally have no control over your mind heart and body. When you get hurt, you will cave in and develop depression."

do you truly understand this statement.

you are facing a situation where someone has no control over her mind, heart AND body. she is getting hurt by people she trust. the worst kind of hurt.

HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU CHOOSE TO BE INDIFFERENT WHEN SHE IS YOUR FUCKING CLASSMATE GETTING HERSELF SO BADLY HURT RIGHT UNDER YOUR FUCKING NOSE ?!!!

you keep telling me to trust you.

now you're turning your back on me when i ask you to help me.

what you wan me to do?

i know you got your reasons.

i heard part of it.

its wrong. morally and in terms of integrity.

and you telling me that you choose to stick to it.

i really dont know what to do.

you wanna tell me?

2009-07-28T06:21:00.001-07:00

fuck.

once again

i cant do anything

2009-07-26T22:36:00.000-07:00

地点是城市某个角落
时间在午夜时刻
无聊的人常在这里出没
交换一种寂寞

我静静坐在你的身后

你似乎只想沉默

我猜我们的爱情已到尽头

无话可说

比争吵更折磨

不如就分手

放我一个人生活

请你双手不要再紧握

一个人我至少干净俐落

沦落就沦落

爱闯祸就闯祸

我也放你一个人生活

你知道就算继续结果还是没结果
又何苦还要继续迁就

就彼此放生留下活口
就彼此放生
彼此留下活口
爱的时候
说过的承诺
爱过以后
就不要强求
从此分手
不必再回头
各自生活
曾经孤单加上孤单是爱火
燃烧过你和我
如今沉默加上沉默更沉默
再没有什么舍不得

2009-07-25T10:40:00.000-07:00

geng until like that.

when you meet people like me

you will want to die but you realise you cannot

because of your stuck up pride.

take your pick.

hug to your stuck up pride

and die when you meet people like me

or

put down your fucking pride

and live your life ttm.

your life. your call.

2009-07-24T12:35:00.000-07:00

Someone said that you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.

2009-07-18T12:15:00.000-07:00

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

2009-07-11T12:18:00.000-07:00

it just dawned on me that it has been quite some time since i'm myself.
have always been living to other people's expectations.
time to do something for myself because i want it.
its not about right or wrong.
but in this short life span that we have,
i think i should make myself feel best
while making people i care feel better.

2009-07-09T10:54:00.000-07:00

wooooo ! after one month of tanking and sorts. back to slacking mode le !

time for some slacking action and saving money~~!!

first up on my to-get list is my skates ! my long awaited skates.. should be able to get them end of this month.

next up is my riding license !! most likely will be able to get my PDL soon.. probably this month as well.

after that is my motorbike !! gonna check out the prices then calculate the time needed to get it.

BUDGET AND CS FTW !!!

goodnightssweetdreamssleeptightdontletthebedbugsbite.

2009-07-05T06:19:00.001-07:00

feels like shit.

feels lost.

a hiatus will help.

2009-07-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

im a soft iron.

you emo emo with me, i emo emo with you.
you high with me, i high with you.
you act high with me, i try my best to act high with you.

2009-07-02T06:56:00.000-07:00

wanted to blog. but realise no point blogging about it. so shall post this random post. as an update. :D

2009-06-09T07:55:00.001-07:00

louis is feeling so un-motivated that he thinks he can just cease to exist. louis is even trying to cheat himself that nobody will be affected should he cease to exist now. louis is just so not motivated to do anything. louis thinks maths is fun and may motivate him to do something. however, louis is too lazy to reach for his maths text book and work on some questions. louis is just so.........

2009-06-08T08:54:00.000-07:00

more expectations
more disappointments
less expectations
more surprises

2009-06-08T08:53:00.001-07:00

nothing is impossible. its just a matter of want.

2009-05-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

做人很容易，做好人很难。

2009-05-12T07:41:00.000-07:00

钱不是万能的但是没有钱却万万不能。

2009-05-06T01:26:00.000-07:00

“我们把所有的错都背在自己的身上
让自己内疚痛苦
以为这样做是为对方好
结果却让自己的伤口越挖越深
让我们都活在往日的罪孽里
逃不出来
我们越是不放过自己
越是折磨对方伤害对方
甚至让身边所有的人
也跟着我们一起受苦”

射雕英雄传

2009-05-03T10:26:00.000-07:00

Alice : Which way should i go? To the left or to the right? I'm lost.. Can you help me out?
Cat : Do you know where you want to go?
Alice : No ?
Cat : Then it doesn't matter which way you choose.

2009-04-27T09:14:00.001-07:00

sometimes life is just so simple..

if someone is stronger than you, you just get stronger and win him !

if someone is faster than you, you just get faster and win him !

if someone is more charming than you, you just be more charming than him !

if someone can draw better than you, you draw better than him !

everything can be done if you just take time out to practice it.

it all boils down to how much you want it.

2009-04-14T11:42:00.000-07:00

never liked the feeling of not knowing something.

knowing too much makes us care about more things.

this makes decisions harder to be made.

thinking too much over a decision equates to mental exhaustion.

not only mental exhaustion but also not deriving any answers.

not having any answers means there's no point in thinking so much.

hence, we should not think so much over any decisions made.

if we think that this decision is the best at that point in time,

we should just stick to it and should never regret

because it was the best decision at that point in time.

sacrificing something to gain something.

in order to gain something,

some things have to be sacrificed.

only question here is, can you afford to sacrifice it?

another question will be, is that something worth the sacrifice?

some people, due to certain beliefs, do not gamble.

but fact is, everyone is gambling with every decision made.

with every decision made, we dont know what the outcome will be like.

we never know what effects it will bring.

hence, gambling.

no point in thinking so much. just live and enjoy the present.

not sure if anything makes sense.

but whatever.

=D

2009-04-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

i got things to do. but im facing some problems. so cant continue with doing em. so i can say there's nothing on my immediate to-do list. =((

maybe i should find someone to talk to online. though i dont really feel like talking to any of em. cant think of anything to do online lehs. and 933fm's dj is like sooooooooooo entertaining. his voice is so dead that i'll really fall asleep listening to it. the bad thing is, i kinda feel like staying awake ! cant he just do with lesser talking and more music? good music will be preferred.

life's been so mundane. everyday doing the same thing with different people. telling different people the same old thing. occassional hiccups are the only things to look forward to. entertains me all the time.

aunty eliz ar. i just realised that you're soooooo xing fu that you no longer see things the way we do. your life is so filled with daryl that he has never left your mind. seems like you manage to carry on with daily routines due to the magnificent ability to multi-task sooooooo well. otherwise you would have already ceased to function. all da best for your 4 hours back to back tests later ! =D i pray that you will get the job.

oh. i applied for a zingrill member for my mom and i forgot to pass it to her.

cool. they're playing JJ's songs. someone's favourite, yo. oh. and one more cool thing. that dude stopped talking. im happy. =D

im blogging to kill time and exhaust mmyself mentally so that i can sleep and stop thinking that it'll be a waste of my time. well, theoretically, when you're mentally exhausted, you cant continue thinking. and hence, solving my current problem.

i've bought 5 badges and 4 comics, spending all my cash and causing a need for me to withdraw more cash from the automatic transaction machine to pay for my din-per. dinner cum supper.

if there's ever a day the earth stood still, i'd hate for it to be 12am or 12pm. wont mind if its 6am or 6pm. =D best time of the day. very hard to appreciate them though. always doing something else at those times.

oh shucks. he's talking again. im really falling asleep hearing his voice. why cant he have more life? oh, maybe i sound like that too when i converse with my customers.

if you ever wanna give me a gift, i'd love to receive something handmade. nothing bought. all bought gifts will either be used or left aside to rot. things that a handmade will be displayed and appreciated. =D a painting will be good. aunty eliz is doing one for me. im glad.

a-sang passed away two days ago. emo-ed for awhile when i heard the news. her song, ye zi was like so frigging nice. one of my top faves. she passed away at the age of 34 due to breast cancer. =(( "what god freely gives, He freely takes away. - aunty eliz"

i think i should stop here and not blabbering on and on. i'll try to look for something to watch on teevee. if that fails too, ima go to bed.

2009-04-06T10:24:00.000-07:00

the asshole part of me did something without the coolest part of me.

sacrifices. read something about it from a book eliz lent me. something about all sacrifices are worth it. you sacrifice and gain something in return.

in the book, the commander stepped on a mine and got blown into bits. he sacrificed himself. in return, he kept his promise he made to his recruits.

shaun ar. you do some boring work now. sacrificing time for fun. in future, it will benefit you in some way. just depends on which one you think is more worth it.

everything is fair de. you lose something, you gain something. if you dont gain something, someone else will gain something. someone else lose something, you may gain something from it.

i wanna learn something new. life is so much more fun when you're learning. teach me something new !

2009-03-31T05:51:00.000-07:00

the next time i say i DONT WANT to do something, you dont come fucking say i should do it unless you really got a good suggestion.

when i DONT WANT to cut my hair, you dont frigging make me cut and keep asking her to cut it short when i want it long.

IT MAKES NO FRIGGING SENSE TO CUT IT TO THE LENGTH IT WAS WHEN I WANT IT LONGER !

my fringe finally grew long enough to cover my eyes and not poke it. now because my mom wans it shorter, its poking my eyes again. and i got no frigging idea what to do with my hair. cause it doesn't covers my eyes, it doesn't look good swept to the side. all i wanted was to make my hair look better. if there's nothing better, DONT CUT IT FOR ME ! thanks ar aunty..

it was long enough to highlight. after the cut. everything is bad. even leaving it alone is bad.

so the next time i say i DONT WANT to do something, unless you are 100% sure that i will not regret doing it. otherwise, keep it to yourself ! thank you for your concern !

2009-03-30T21:55:00.001-07:00

im the coolest asshole.

2009-03-30T03:10:00.000-07:00

i know u will kill me when u see this post coz i know u always want ur post to got meaning and intellectual right. think i dont know always act one chim.

quote of the night from me:
"please treat ppl nicer next time and dont be tooo honest okeh"
do you think this blog makes any sense or inspires you in anyway? hmm. something for you to think about.

good nights asshole
3:09AM
-PIE

2009-03-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

germaine foo hui fang is pestering me to blog and i shall type this blog to stop her from pestering me to blog. so practically im blogging for the sake of blogging. do you think this blog makes any sense or inspires you in anyway? hmm. something for you to think about.

Important message sent to all Blogger users

2009-03-28T20:59:00.000-07:00

HEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEH
SURPRISE!
you have no idea when i took this pict bcoz i have no idea too!

8:59PM (you are currently working)
28/3/09
-PIE

2009-03-26T11:19:00.000-07:00

everyone's voicing out their dreams. its cool.

my mom wanna start a business too ! she got an idea. a concept. im gonna support her all the way man. i dont mind eating that for breakfast every morning. i just want to see your dream fufilled. its cool.

2009-03-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

sometimes its just so comforting to know that someone actually have faith in you. trusting you to be able to get something done.

it sucks always getting reminded of how incompetent you are. ain't the first time im reminded at least.

dont start praising me or comforting me by telling me how good i am. i'll get big headed and lose everything. that will suck more. if you care, just take note of it. and have faith in someone. let him/her know once in a while. it helps alot.

2009-03-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

Doing things not with your two hands but with your heart.
Saying things not from your mouth but from you heart.
Things will be done better. Words will sound nicer.

2009-03-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

why do we do what we do? is the reason for what we do the right reason? or isit just because we felt its more comfortable to have it done that way.

i just heard that im actually getting a pay much lower than other staffs in other outlets when they are there for a shorter period of time compared to me. you may laugh at me and say i suck. cause i think so too ! why am i getting a pay lower than others when im here for so long? it only reflects one thing ! they are more capable than me. i have nothing to say for that because i haven't worked with their managers and i haven't seen them work. so i cant compare anything or come to any conclusion. but i think i should self-reflect. am i only worth $5/hour? or am i worth more?

i could have just confronted my other manager and asked about the pay. but i didn't. i chose to do some self-reflection. asking myself, am i really that incompetent? you tell me, am i really that incompetent?

considering the things i am able to accomplish. i believe im worth more. but considering my fluctuating performance. i doubt im actually worth any much more than $5/hour. this comes back to my confusion which has been haunting me for weeks already.

i can choose to just tender my resignation, give them two weeks notice and just disappear after two weeks. not hesitating to stay on. but. if i do that, my managers will be caught in a fix. not having sufficient staffs and having to maintain that standard of service. stress will just kill them. joleen is going back to china for a month. from april 13th to may 13th. they are terminating one of the full-timers because of her screwed up attitude. losing joleen for a month is so bad that they need to xfer another staff to train in breeks for a month. losing another full-timer will just cause them to be badly down-staffed. at least with me around. i can help a bit la.. i dont know....

right decisions = decision made after much thought and benefitting most people or conforms to certain standards? wants = decision made upon emotions and usually hurting people and never conformed to the certain standards?

right decisions are easy to make. but hard to follow through. unluckily, im those type of people who always starts things but hardly any follow through.

Wise people speak from experience. Wiser people, from experience, dont speak.

i aspire to be the wiser people. the cool charming men in movies. but they are that way because they've been through alot. me, without making much decisions so far. fearing of making wrong decisions. what experience can i talk about? i've only seen so lil. there's so much more to be seen. though i can actually perceive many things through my little brains. understanding that many things beyond other people's imagination is happening. still have no experience to talk about if i havent been in any of those situations.

i dont know. im confused. i dont know what i should be doing. argh.

i need a new job with better pay. preferably something to do with computer. any recommendations?

2009-03-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
*I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m gonna remember most yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on
Cause...

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

2009-03-21T12:31:00.000-07:00

friends.
family.
love.
responsibility.

i dont think im in any position to talk about other people. im repeating the same mistakes. but i feel that because im doing it. i hope other people will not be like me and commit the same mistakes. im trying. i just resolved something that had been in my heart for about a year? came to a conclusion and accepted it. but who knows. things may change. she may become the girl of my dreams. i may decide to woo her again. we're both still young. too many variables to say for sure. only our programmer knows best. whats in store for us.

responsibility for one's actions. every decision made follows a consequence. cause and effect. stuck together. never separated before. like siamese. decide to leave it to someone else to do the dirty job. someone else, maybe a pregnant lady, has to do it. decide to do the dirty job. everyone gets more time for something else. you choose to be with this girl, you accept everything that follows. you decided not to be with the girl. you face the possibility of her rejecting you next time you wanna woo her. i'll take that responsibility. you have all the rights to reject me if i woo you again.

taking up your own responsibility is cool. i like.

2009-03-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

since you dont have a tagboard, i'll tell you what i wanna tell you through my own blog. =pp

nothing we do screws up our lives unless it's things that have not been properly thought through before carried out. if we blindly follow our emotions, then of course our lives will be full of wrong decisions and regrets. and thats what i think you've been doing. you give in to your emotions too much. like deciding not to go out with certain someone then changing your mind after a few days. or deciding to go single then having doubts a few days later. i think they are all evidence of you giving into your emotions. and since you know the whole picture best, i believe you can do things that will help the whole situation.

siying told me one thing once, she said, right decisions are usually not the decisions that we like most and usually the ones we dislike. but we should choose it because its better not only for us but for people around us as well.

i dont like making the logically correct decisions all the time as well. im those kind who likes to give in to my emotions alot. and punching assholes or unreasonable customers. but i dont do it because i know it hurts more people than the whole situation called for. you giving in to your emotions and meeting jamie or kerlene and things goes out of hand. you know it. but you dont want to change anything and you are complaining that everything you do is screwing up your life. wake up. stop your own miseries. make the better choice.

i honestly would love to punch unreasonable customers in their faces to wake their big ideas up.

im pretty struggling with my thoughts. i dont know what i should do now. im pretty much caught in a jam.

2009-03-15T09:47:00.000-07:00

Once, a general ordered three artists to draw a portrait of him. The general is blind in his left eye, having a very deep scar. He ordered the three artists to draw it and the one selected will be handsomely rewarded while the others will be executed.

The first artist drew a portrait of him as he was, blind in one eye. He was executed.

The second artist drew a portrait of him with two perfect eyes. He was executed.

The third artist drew a portrait of him facing a different direction, showing only his good eye. He was handsomely rewarded and his drawings were famous from then on.

moral of the story : everybody has their own good and bad sides. we should always try to portray the good side of us and not the bad.

to me : i just wanna be myself. you'll just see the side i wanna show you. good or bad. take it or leave it.

2009-03-13T10:48:00.000-07:00

From http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

cool test. i like. quite accurate. what do you think?

2009-03-12T07:31:00.000-07:00

"the sexiest man in the world is the man that can only satisfy one woman and be satisfied by that same one woman his entire life." - Elizabeth Tan Si Ying.

sounds cool. sounds good. i like.

2009-03-09T10:16:00.000-07:00

my toe nail is fucking coming off. im removing it bit by bit. just abit more. bleeding quite a bit though. feels good..................

tot of a new direction to head on now. tot of being a jack of all trades and knowing enough of everything to hold conversations and awe people. quite cool to have a relationship with a girl where both of you do things to irritate each other but knowing where to draw the line and still love each other. in other words, doing things to spice up the relationship all the time. can you do it? one of the benefits of being a jack of all trades as well. =D

tonnes of things to buy. things like mixing bowls and whisks. wanna try some recipes. but dont have the equipments. i enjoy the luxury of having all the better equipments when doing things. so excited about starting a cafe but others seem nonchalent about it because its something that will happen about 7 years later. maybe we dont share the same dream. maybe.

current plans on hand. help my uncle find a graphics pro with the game. help fh fix his ah gong's company. get my dream done.

the cost of running a cafe is astronomical as well. things are not that easy. i'll work something out.

DISCRETION ADVISED vulgar/emotional post

2009-03-05T09:06:00.000-08:00

like i said sm, we're only your friends. even the bestest friend cannot always be there to push you to take the other step. you have to fucking move on your own. if its hard for you, its hard for us as well. we did it, so can you.

just met up with some complications after work. one of my colleagues got into some relationship problems and her ex came to look for her. he got rough. all i can do is to try hold his arms down and ask him to chill. i felt fucking useless. i could have done more to stop him from hurting her further.

came to a conclusion while on the bus just now. i'll protect people around me from any form of violence. nobody, other than people whol resort to violence, should be a victim of violence. i swear i'll fucking elbow the next person who try to lay a finger on people around me.

为朋友可以两肋插刀。

to all grown-ups out there. fucking act your age and be more matured about things. regarding relationship problems, if the girl/guy fucking dont want you, you fucking let go. you dont fucking come wait for him/her at his/her workplace and kick up a din there. you're the fucking loser in the end. if a marriage doesn't work, two ways out. one, make it work. two, fucking get a divorce. you dont fucking let people around you suffer. if you fucking do, you fucking suck. fuck this man.. a 21 yr old girl can think so maturely and understand consequences, effects and things that should or should not be done. an 18 yr old kid is learning how to handle matters properly but examples around him disappoints him. fucked up ways of handling things. ways like "oh, he didn't respect my parents, why should i?" or "talk to her abit only she like want to quarrel, why should i talk to her?" FUCKED UP I TELL YOU. YOU TWO ARE FUCKED UP. IM SO GONNA FIND A TIME WHEN IM FREE TO GO TALK TO THE BOTH OF YOU ! ONE TO ONE ! YOU IRRITATING KUKUS !

*im in a dont-talk-stupid-things-to-me-or-i'll-fuck-you-upside-down-in-side-out-with-punches-kicks-and-vulgarities-kinda-mood*

2009-02-27T08:23:00.001-08:00

one more thing. there's one thing that i think everyone should do. define who really matters to you and who matters more. lover, family, or friends. they dont enjoy the same level of priority. one weigh more than the other. imagine a natural disaster broke out and you have very lil time to decide who you want to be with at that very moment. who will you choose? assuming you are attached to the girl of your dreams. will you choose to visit all your best buddies? or stay with your family? or choose to spend the crucial moments with the girl of your dreams?

My decision is to bring my family to safety then go look for my lover, secure her family then visit all of my buddies. so my priority is my family, lover then friends. what's yours'? What do you truly want.

My dream is to run a pub with some of my best buds and provide a place to hangout for our friends and many other strangers. It's a dream i truly want to fufil and working towards it. what's your dream? what do you want to achieve before you sleep forever?

2009-02-27T07:59:00.000-08:00

I've come to a conclusion after some thinking of issues encountered today.

I should always think of the situation and try to find the best possible solution that fits into the equation and solves it, while not condemning all possibilities.

I should consider all possibility then decide on the one with the most feasibility and suggest that possibility. Rather than suggesting all possibilities and then let others decide on the one with the most feasibility.

One more lesson of the day is that I should not try to impose my thoughts and perspectives on another person as he/she may not look at it that way. It is rude and demanding of me to impose my thoughts and perspectives on another person.

*but of course, when things are getting out of hand, sharing your views and perspectives may help situations/people to improve*

I'm pretty irritated with communication breakdowns though. Communication breakdowns leads to unforeseen circumstances and at many occasions, decisions have to be made again and losses are incurred.

Rational over emotional. *but i think being emotional is cooler cause i cant do it. its too strenuous for me.*

2009-02-23T06:07:00.000-08:00

friends are to be treated with respect and never taken for granted. If one does not know how to let them know how much they mean to one, one should try his very best to reciprocate in the forms of actions. Even the simplest actions like trusting one's friends is enough to allow one's friends to continue giving for one. However, if no actions are taken to show how much they matter and only actions of denial and rejection are obvious, then one can only be prepared to lose one's friends and has no one or nothing to blame but oneself.

朋友来的不易，一辈子的朋友更难找。愿意为你付出的朋友，值得你去珍惜。对待朋友应该是真心对待。信任和关怀更不能少。不要辜负他们对你的真心对待。不然失去他们后，想再找像他们一样对你那么好的朋友，几乎是不可能的。

2009-02-22T07:02:00.000-08:00

旧的不去新的不来。
有些东西能那么容易哄自己放下就好了。。

我要和我的朋友们一起住在我们建的后院里！

2009-02-21T10:16:00.000-08:00

鲁伊已决定了。我要享受每分每秒，然后赚很多很多的钱！过后才和自己深爱的另一半悠哉的过下半辈子! 等着看我的决心吧！

2009-02-12T07:02:00.000-08:00

yes sM.. im gonna update now.. =D

watched the first 30 minutes of saw 1. was irritated by the amount of gore. not really sure whether i want to finish watching all of it now. =(

discussed with edwin about the whole "multi-logy"'s plot and finally realise what the show is actually about. the whole show is actually about how this guy named, jigsaw, try to see what people can do in order to survive. and the moral of the story is to "treasure life". *we've also more or less come to a conclusion that we will most likely just die if we're ever in those situations. either that or we'll die be4 we die by the traps*

i want to cut my hair.

sorry about the prev post. weren't sure of what i was typing anyway. and im too lazy to go recall what i was trying to convey and edit the post. hence, just intepret it whichever way you like and if you're bothered, i advise you to get over it as i wont be too bothered by the fact that you are bothered. this being so, you being bothered does not bother anybody else but yourself.

exams period. im a lucky guy.

congratulations to aunty elizabeth tan siying for having presented her project and getting graduated soon ! don't ignore us once you step into working society !

i want to get a game to play again. its that time of the year.

ima go eat my big wheat now.. tata !

2009-02-03T08:59:00.000-08:00

i really thank the mystery man who gave me the chance to meet my friends.

they're really the best bunch of people i've ever met.

siying is like a big sister always there to support me when i needed some. =D thanks.
shaun is like the brudder whom i can always beo char bo with and laugh around with. haha !
sheng ming is like a mirror always reminding me of what i do *in the positive way* makes me think if what i say or do will hurt some1 or not.
edwin is like the brudder to do cool stuffs like fishing, backpack travelling and all. hardly any technology de activities.
then still got alot more la.. just that you few are like on my mind now.. thats why named. =D others are all appreciated for sharing moments in my limited years. =D

hi-bye friends
good friends
best friends
besties

if there is ever a hierarchy among friends, i think the 4 mentioned above will be it.

and i think friends dont just come and go. they come and leave something behind in our memories. friendships depends on how much effort you put in to maintain it. it does not fade with time as long as you have the effort to care for that friend in a way you can.

when you dont meet or talk to a friend after some time, it does not mean that friend becomes an acquaintance or just a hi-bye friend. he/she becomes an acquaintance or hi-bye friend only when you decide to let him/her become one. if you still regard him/her as a friend, there will always be things to talk about, there shouldn't be any awkward between the two of you when you meet after some time. because you care for this friend, you will want to know how he/she have been doing and know more about the times you were not with him/her. it should come naturally and not forced.

thank you siying for staying up with me just to make sure i stay awake and study. that was the first time someone did that for me. thanks.
at the same time, sorry.

这些年一个人风也过雨也走
有过泪有过错还记得坚持什么
真爱过才会懂会寂寞会回首
终有梦终有你在心中
朋友一生一起走那些日子不再有
一句话一辈子一生情一杯酒
朋友不曾孤单过一声朋友你会懂
还有伤还有痛还要走还有我

2009-02-01T05:28:00.000-08:00

Verse 1:
I look at you. You look at me
(You can tell me you ain't feeling butterflies)
Its obvious there’s some chemistry
(I think I know when it feels so right)
Girl I wanted so long to know
Now your telling me you gotta let it go
(Don’t tell me I have to start all over again)
I never thought this day would come
(This is something that I wanted in my life)
I realized that you’re the one
(And your telling me it’s time to say good-bye)
What’s inside my heart it ain't gonna change
So it shouldn’t be so easy to walk away
(You feel it I feel it lets not pretend)

Chorus:
Maybe I don’t know what love is
Maybe I’m a fool
I just know what I’m feeling and it’s all because of you
Don’t tell me I don’t know I want the truth
Cuz they call it, we call it, you call it, I call it love

Verse 2:
It’s so clear for you to see
(Don’t let no body tell you what to do)
Why they can’t just lets us be happy
(I don’t want to find somebody new)
If you know what’s really in your heart
Then don’t let them tear us apart
(Cuz you feel it I feel it don’t say were through)

Chorus:

Maybe I don’t know what love is
Maybe I’m a fool
I just know what I’m feeling and it’s all because of you
Don’t tell me I don’t know I want the truth
Cuz they call it, we call it, you call it, I call it love

We have a bond thats unbreakable
And its not time to let it go
(We're in love)
And now that we know that it’s real
We're gonna let it show
To the whole world that I’m yours forever
And you’re my girl
You're my everything(i don't know)

Chorus:(2x)
Maybe I don’t know what love is
Maybe I’m a fool
I just know what I’m feeling and it’s all because of you
Don’t tell me I don’t know I want the truth



Mother or Wife
Father or Husband
Best friends or Siblings
Best friend 1 or Best friend 2

who will you save in each life and death situation where you can only save one?


Cuz they call it, we call it, you call it, I call it love

2009-01-26T10:35:00.000-08:00

yo yo yo ! now is cny le.. got happy and unhappy things la.. =DD

happy things is met up with a lot of relatives, watched a couple of shows with unbelievably crazy storyline. like right now there's the 大丈夫 on channel 8.. super funny.. haha ! got quite a few ang baos too..

unhappy things will be how my parents behaved for the past two days, how inefficient adults can be when we, the younger generation, are always expected to be highly efficient. ate a tonne of food also.. feeling very sinful now.. =( hee !

anyone knows where to get those casual pumps? joleen wants a pair of plain black ones.. but it seems pretty hard to find lehs.. im not really going to shops yet.. just asking around.. contemplating whether i should go out and look for em tmr and pass it to her on wed as a surprise or not lehs.

struggling with some thoughts now but concluded that i will not be able to get any answers from it. hence, stopped struggling le =D

i want to learn skating asap.

currently saving up for bday chalet, skates, china backpack trip and hongkong trip. anyone wanna sponsor me? =D

2009-01-19T08:36:00.001-08:00

i suck at vball. Thanks to my team mates, i get a bronze medal. =D im not proud to say i've won a 3rd place in the interclass volleyball but im proud to say my team won it. they are awesome. =D

wanted to blog about what i've heard and processed about love. but on 2nd thoughts, i shan't do that. because im still not matured enough to have a say on my views about love.

i've once let a lady down. i address her as a lady not because she's old but because she's matured. she's way way more matured than me and i dont deserve her. she loved me and i cant say i love her as much.

after letting her down, i start to realise my liking towards one of my colleague. she confessed her liking for me too. we got really close but because of my immaturity and impatience, i lost her. we were so close yet so far. things are looking better now though. shall see where we'll land.

a few months after our headless relationship, i met this girl who made me do alot of things i never would have done. not for any other girls. only her. i was confused. i know i like her but it feels different from the way i feel when i like other girls. i can do the sweetest things for her so naturally that i never doubted my actions when i do it. unlike when im with my colleague. when i was with my colleague, i always felt bad about the things i do because we have to keep things wrapped. yet with this girl, i just do what i want to do when i want to do it. like buying her supper when she randomly say she craves for fish soup beehoon at 3am and sending to her doorstep. i never had a single doubt in my heart nehs ! however, people around me are saying that she's not the one for me.

and until now, i have no more relationships with any girls le. right now, my colleague is asking me if i want to go to her hometown with her. she was supp to return to her hometown in may for a month. but i told her i was unable to make it. cause my vacation is from mid feb to mid april. and now she changed her leave to mid april to mid may. which i may be able to go ! wonder if its on deliberate or just coincidence =D

been trying to meet the girl again. however to no avail cause our times clashes. both of us are pretty occupied by things like school and friends. well, we'll see how it goes !

as for the lady whom i've let down. i have nothing more to say for anything i say now will be meaningless.

thanks eliz for enlightening me so much on so many things. nice to have a sister like you ! =D much loves.

tata.

2009-01-11T04:05:00.000-08:00

just cooked dinner for myself ! =D had quite a fun time..

cooking is actually quite easy la.. first step is just to get yourself in the mood..

reflections on my 1st attempt to cook :

chicken chop was rubbed with salt, white pepper and L&P's Worcestershire sos. then left in fridge for about...... 7-8 hours.. * cause i marinated it like early in the morning and cooked it only in the late evening.. not sure if the time affects the taste a lot * cooking it is easy, just pour a lil bit of oil in the pan and pan-fry it till cooked. have to poke the areas with thicker chunks of meat to ensure the whole chicken is cooked.

the spaghetti on the other hand was a lil more troublesome.. have to do the sauce and the pasta at the same time then ensure the consistency and taste of the sauce. this time the sauce was a lil too sour. not sure if its just the taste of the sauce or its cause i didn't dilute it with water.. the pasta dries up very quickly too ! i had to like add quite a bit of oil to keep it moist.. not very healthy though.. have to try and find a way to keep it moist for storing in fridge for future use.. cant possibly cook pasta everytime a customer orders it ma.. too inefficient le.. gonna work on it..

overall not bad la =DD at least i can cook quite a bit.. oh ! my mom just told me i need to rinse the pasta with cold water then add either sesame oil or corn oil before i can keep it for future use one.. chay....

okay.. next time im gonna try learn the concept of doing sauces at my work place then come back and try again. =DD !!

2009-01-09T08:24:00.000-08:00

so... conclusion of our one sided heated argument?

i should not toy with people's feelings and just find a girl who shares the same values and perspective of things and loves me to spend the rest of my life with.

so tempted to say it's easier said than done but saying that makes me feel like i concede defeat which i dont like. alot.

well, that night i sms-ed some people to ask for some negative views of me, it was to help me be more humble.. or at least i feel im starting to become too full of myself. it always happens like this. first i will become very good at things like almost everything i do will awe somebody somehow and start receiving praises, then i will start to get cocky and everything will just go downhill from there. and after weeks of emo-ing and doing wrong things, the cycle happens again. this time i manage to get out of the cycle. by getting some negative views from some people who meant to me or used to mean to me. =DD so glad.

those views also allowed me to do some reflections of myself. lets me think of areas which i need to improve on. like joleen says that my attitude to mike, our colleague, is bad and my standing posture during operation hours is bad. germaine says that sometimes i think im always right and sometimes i care but i just act like i dont. eliz says that im still not stable for relationships and has a problem with my choices of words.

i've already decided to speak to mike better and respect him more. i used to have problems with him because he's more "feminine" than usual guys and it sort of irritates me. =D standing posture is a small problem which can be rectified easily so not much of a concern.. maybe i should keep my predictions to myself and hopefully people will stop thinking that i always think that im right. *but sometimes its just that zhun what.. its just me believing myself.. =((* i realise that sometimes i care but i act like i dont its cause i felt that i didn't have the right to. like i'm not anybody to somebody and i feel that i was in no position to say anything to change anybody's mind. so.. yea.. think im doing something right.. as for still not stable for relationship, there's a few issues to this. first, its hard enough to find someone who shares the same values and perspective to things with me and secondly, its even harder to find someone at my age with that much maturity for us to make our relationship last till death..

i know that its wrong to like toy with other people's feelings as a form of experimenting in my quest to find the one suitable for me. and i feel lousy practising what other teens of my age is doing. dating for the sake of dating, having someone by my side for the sake of having her there. your one-sided heated argument woke me. thanks eliz =D

*one-sided heated argument = an argument between me and eliz with me with me knowing my mistakes halfway through and her emphasizing her points*

2009-01-05T07:42:00.000-08:00

weee ! back to blogging again. =D

saw this two kids when i was crossing the road today.. the green man was flashing and they ran across the road. the lil boy told the girl " yay. im faster than you.. im faster than anyone in the world"

this statement blew my mind. it reminded me how innocent kids can be because they haven't seen much of this world. how minute they are, how ugly people can get and how dumbs adults can be.

then i read this personal message that my classmate had on his msn, " Sometimes I just wish I could forget everyone and everything that I've been in contact with. Life is so much simpler that way ". it got me thinking. would it really be better if life is that simple and you forget everyone and everything you've been through? my conclusion is no. i will be so insecure if i forget everything i know now. i will be so upset if i forget everyone that i met now. because i will just be so lonely and gullible and naive and innocent. all of which i cannot live with. its just me. i cannot live alone or live knowing that there are things going on under my nose and i got no idea of it.

i want to play. i want to play games that i already know how to play and is pretty good at it. at least i wont have to just keep losing. i want to try things thats i've been thinking of for some time now. things like new stunts in bball matches, roller blading, sprint rowing and ultimately, my "dream".

i thirst for fun....................

anymore fun?

Purpose.

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